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Words of Wisdom

January 3, 2013

My daughter Chloe (now 20) used to be locally famous when she was a toddler for what we called her “Chlo-isms” – cute expressions which I used to write down in a notebook. A few of our favorites were when she’d call bowls, cups and plates “food furniture,” telling us emphatically “I don’t like nuns,” and announcing after she’d gotten dressed, “My boots are too tight, but I don’t matter.” Little did I know that today, seventeen years later, I’d be documenting her sayings again…after she had her wisdom teeth removed. I didn’t get a video, but I did have a pen and paper. Here are some of her “words of wisdom” coming out of anesthesia…

Am I in the same room?

[wide-eyed, grabbing my phone] I want everyone to know I’m okay! I’m going to send them a picture of me. [looking at phone and gasping] Your inbox is 100% FULL! [handing it back to me] QUICK!

You have four eyes.

Chlo: They had to wait to start me because there was an emergency.”
Me: What happened?
Chlo [scornfully]:They didn’t tell me. It’s PRIVACY.

Is this the same room?

Don’t laugh at me.

Kiss me on the forehead.

Me: You need to stop talking. The doctor doesn’t want you to talk.
Chlo: [pouting] I like to talk.
Me: You can tell me later.
Chlo: What if I forget?
Me: I’ll remind you.
Chlo: Don’t forget!

Is this a rocking chair?
I like it.
I really like this rocking chair.

[touching her chin, horrified] What is THAT?

I don’t like my tongue right now.

That was FAST. I was asleep, then I was awake!

Me: Do I still have four eyes, Chloe?

Chloe: [singsongy] Hmm…no. You have pretty eyes.

I like the color of this room.

[touching in and around her mouth and announcing it] Gauze. Lip. Gauze. Lip. Teeth.

I’d like to take this blanket home. They should give it as a going away gift. For being a TROOPER.

My tongue should not be in my mouth right now.

Are you writing stuff about me?
Don’t put me in your next book.
I take that back. Write a book about me.

Maybe not a book, Chlo, but perhaps a blog post :).


From → Motherhood

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